Post by Aedon on Mar 29, 2011 11:39:42 GMT -8
Someone let me in, I think the sky is falling
Seems I've gotten lost on my way
All I want to do is try and find myself
Come and let me look in your eyes.
I suppose to many this may seem the act of a mad man. In all truth, I see more than a bit of insanity in the acts of last night. But there are times when, in order to move forward as a complete and whole person, we must cleanse ourselves of the bindings which anchor us to a past best forgotten.
I have always, through time I recall, called this glade my home. I lived, worked, laughed and loved within the protection of the great Northern Forests. And I have spent many peaceful days walking her paths under trees bathed in sunlight.
But, as one that has awaken suddenly from a nightmare, I find that the paths seem unfamiliar, and the air a crushing weight upon my soul. Friends I have known well seem to look at me as though I am a stranger at times; and, try as I might, my actions seem to fall far short of what has been expected of me.
There have been days when I feel as one adrift.
I cannot be that which they see and do not wish to lose that which I am. It is a quandary that haunts my nights, driving sleep from my brow, and I am left to await the dawn in ever darkening halls of my mind.
Happiness fades and withdraws before the forces of doubt and confusion, and I am thrown down in defeat without firing so much as a single volley at this silent foe before me.
Janissan, parted from me and yet never parted, I walk the silent halls of our home, stopping from time to time to gaze in silence at the water outside. In the gentle lapping of the waves I recall your laughter, and hear your voice.
Summers passed in joyous freedom, a ferret happily dook dooking at our side; picnics beneath an azure sky along the river bank, the sweet smell of the heather blooming in the nearby meadow. A time lost to me, and returned, and yet always outside of my grasp.
I have tried to be what I perceive is expected of me. I have taken on the mantel of leadership within this Glade; though, in all truth, it is a task unsuited to my skills. I am a tavern keeper, not a politician, and no amount of dressing up will ever make a silk purse of a sow's ear.
In the past month I have heard the call of the sea, the sound of the earth mother beckoning me to traverse her waves. To sail off, leaving care and woe behind, and in the sea's swell perhaps that which I have lost. A house divided will surely fall; and a man so split cannot serve others until he is whole.
Perhaps aboard the 'Fury' I will find myself again, and perhaps it will only be a temporary respite from that which I can no longer face.
And so, this act of madness has defined my night and may set the tone for words spoken of me for some time. I have caused the house next to the Rest to be set ablaze, all the trappings of a past I do not need consumed in fire. As I gazed into the flames, I awaited a sense of loss and despair that should come with seeing the end to one's past. But, as the fires died, and the embers began to cool, I found no despair or loss.
In fact I felt only...free.
Seems I've gotten lost on my way
All I want to do is try and find myself
Come and let me look in your eyes.
I suppose to many this may seem the act of a mad man. In all truth, I see more than a bit of insanity in the acts of last night. But there are times when, in order to move forward as a complete and whole person, we must cleanse ourselves of the bindings which anchor us to a past best forgotten.
I have always, through time I recall, called this glade my home. I lived, worked, laughed and loved within the protection of the great Northern Forests. And I have spent many peaceful days walking her paths under trees bathed in sunlight.
But, as one that has awaken suddenly from a nightmare, I find that the paths seem unfamiliar, and the air a crushing weight upon my soul. Friends I have known well seem to look at me as though I am a stranger at times; and, try as I might, my actions seem to fall far short of what has been expected of me.
There have been days when I feel as one adrift.
I cannot be that which they see and do not wish to lose that which I am. It is a quandary that haunts my nights, driving sleep from my brow, and I am left to await the dawn in ever darkening halls of my mind.
Happiness fades and withdraws before the forces of doubt and confusion, and I am thrown down in defeat without firing so much as a single volley at this silent foe before me.
Janissan, parted from me and yet never parted, I walk the silent halls of our home, stopping from time to time to gaze in silence at the water outside. In the gentle lapping of the waves I recall your laughter, and hear your voice.
Summers passed in joyous freedom, a ferret happily dook dooking at our side; picnics beneath an azure sky along the river bank, the sweet smell of the heather blooming in the nearby meadow. A time lost to me, and returned, and yet always outside of my grasp.
I have tried to be what I perceive is expected of me. I have taken on the mantel of leadership within this Glade; though, in all truth, it is a task unsuited to my skills. I am a tavern keeper, not a politician, and no amount of dressing up will ever make a silk purse of a sow's ear.
In the past month I have heard the call of the sea, the sound of the earth mother beckoning me to traverse her waves. To sail off, leaving care and woe behind, and in the sea's swell perhaps that which I have lost. A house divided will surely fall; and a man so split cannot serve others until he is whole.
Perhaps aboard the 'Fury' I will find myself again, and perhaps it will only be a temporary respite from that which I can no longer face.
And so, this act of madness has defined my night and may set the tone for words spoken of me for some time. I have caused the house next to the Rest to be set ablaze, all the trappings of a past I do not need consumed in fire. As I gazed into the flames, I awaited a sense of loss and despair that should come with seeing the end to one's past. But, as the fires died, and the embers began to cool, I found no despair or loss.
In fact I felt only...free.